I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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