If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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