So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
