yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
