ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i came on her dog
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's blow job season.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
