Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
