I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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