I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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