she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
