Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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