Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
