I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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