All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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