Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
