yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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