is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
