Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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