let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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