I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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