I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
