Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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