So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
