I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
