By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
