i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
