She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
