Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it hurts more in the daytime
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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