I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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