Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
