I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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