I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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