Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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