He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
