I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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