she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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