i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
