i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
