happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
