it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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