My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Operation Purity has been aborted
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
