marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
