Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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