1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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