Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
