We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
