Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
