Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
