Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
