I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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