i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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