I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
