If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
