I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
