I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
