Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
