So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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