there's paper in my vomit.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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