Girls should come with a carfax report
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My penis needs a shock collar
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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