I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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