Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
