I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We need to rekindle our bromance
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
