Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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