y did u give ur computer a hand job?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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